“Oh my god, Laura. How are you going to speak over there?” said my manager at one of the gyms I taught at in London when I told her I was moving to Singapore. I gently explained to her that in Singapore they speak English.
“So yeah, how many chickens do you have in your back yard?” That was my brother over the phone when I had been here less than a week. At first I couldn’t tell if he was being sincere or not. He was. I think?
“Just promise me you will behave,” said Blair. “I’m really worried about you. No chewing gum, no jaywalking and please just don’t talk back to anyone.” This comment was a little bit closer to reality than the others. I’ve never been that good at following rules that I find personally irrelevant or keeping my mouth shut when challenged and Singapore does have a lot of rules.
“See you when you have to bust me out of jail!” I nervously joked to Blair and her husband, Patrick, as they saw me off towards Heathrow.
So far I’ve only met one person who’s received a ticket for jaywalking. That person knows of no others.
There’s something important about misconceptions.
For instance, my friends and family keep asking me if I’m having a blast. Yes, having a blast if you love re-orienting to a foreign country’s grocery store, spending a weekend afternoon wondering through IKEA and navigating wholesale furniture sales and arguing with banks and estate agents. It’s interesting and educational, but the word fun might be a stretch.
Mix in the stress of Husband’s new job, no way to commute to work and a recent housefire. There’s excitement, but it is a bit overshadowed by stress.
Jenn asked for photos. I sent her this picture of broccoli juice from the local Carrefour since I didn’t have any glamorous beach shots to send.
Broccoli Juice
Carrefour in Singapore is amazing. It has every stereotype expat product ranging from certain types of fancy Italian pasta to Peanut Butter Captain Crunch. I haven’t had Peanut Butter Captain Crunch in over 10 years, but all of a sudden I NEED it.
So if we are going to get started about incorrect perceptions, I suppose I should mention my own.
I’ve been here one week and I already get frustrated. Frustrated with the bank and how the man on the phone just told me what I wanted to believe instead of the truth without even checking my account. “That’s the culture here,” a banker explains to me. Do I believe him? I don’t know.
I am frustrated with the legal terms on the lease for our house and how they blatantly favor the landlord. “That’s how leases are written here,” says the estate agent. Do I believe her? I don’t know.
Frustrated with the people zigzagging in my way in the MRT malls instead of moving from point A to point B. I have to go somewhere, people. Pay attention!
Frustrated with the people on the MRT who run for a seat or play flashy videos as they wait.
Frustrated with the way the clerks in the shop stand about 6 inches from me the moment I walk in the door. Do they think I am going to steal something or is this their version of customer service?
Frustrated that I don’t know where to buy duct tape or thank you cards not covered in glitter.
Frustrated with how as an expat I am “suppose to” take cabs all the time now instead of public transport when I just spent the last two years trying to avoid taxis.
Frustrated with how the crowds operate and the Facebook profile picture taking that goes on endlessly at what I perceive to be hokey mall events.
Frustrated at my perceptions.
Some people call this all culture shock. Others call it outright rudeness to impose my beliefs on another culture. They are probably both right, who am I to say what’s the correct way to do things?
Be gentle with me. I am new here.
“It would be different if I was on holiday,” I say. “I live here, I’ve got to get things done. I have deadlines.”
We see things not as they are, but as we are.
I see this quote frequently contributed to Anais Nin?
I start to consider all the quirks of my own country.
Did I mention that this is only the end of week #1?
Before I left England, my friend Naomi gave me a Reiki session. “Just try to be curious,” she warned. “You need to approach this adventure with wonder and curiosity, otherwise you will feel frustrated.”
And so I try. Here it goes. Here’s to week #2.
Sounds … frustrating.
And that Anais Nin quote is probably my single favourite quote, I’ve used it as my signature line in online forums for many many years. I think it says so very much about human behaviour in so few words. It’s an incredibly strong and accurate statement.
Wow, can I relate to your impressions and perceptions. Relocation is a giant administrative task/quagmire/part of life? But it is usually happening when you are the most tired and needing to acquire a lot of information fast. The best customer service would be so welcome. I saw a youtube video once where someone walked through the crowds with a bicycyle bell in some country where the people meandered, as a rule, and wow, did they move out of the way. They didn’t even look first! It was a beautiful thing : )
Take care. Keep writing. You write really well.
Hi Laura,
Yeah there are no glamorous beach shots to send since our beaches are not even decent, that is, I wouldn’t even swim in it anymore LOL. The last time I did it was two years ago at Changi Beach in the eastern side of the island. I took a Kiwi tourist friend there. I hadn’t seen him in over ten years, and when he was working in Singapore, we liked to go to Changi Beach. So it was a nostalgia thing, the outing to the beach. While it wasn’t exactly traumatic (then), let me just say it was unpleasant and we got out the water soon after. It felt more dirty than usual. About a fortnight later I discovered why:
http://wildshores.blogspot.com/2010/09/pasir-ris-water-quality-fails-again-why.html
Yep. Now that’s traumatic; learning we had ben swimming in s**t. And I never told my friend. I’m still too embarrassed LOL.
Ok, about the MRT experience: Me and the partner don’t drive, and we take public transport everywhere, taxis occasionally. Our complaints are the same as everyone else’s I think, mainly that the frequency of trains is too low, which worsens the congestion. Usually it’s 6 minutes off-peak, which to me is poor as I remember in Kuala Lumpur and Bangkok it was only around 2 to 3 minutes. The thing about the MRT (and I feel generally other things in Singapore) is that on the surface it looks good, shiny and new and sparkling and sophisticated, but beneath the facade… hmm not so much. We put a lot of emphasis on ‘image’, on ‘face’.
I think I’m turning your comment space into a rant space, sorry! LOL.
So, very quickly… the rushing for seats: yeah there are a lot of selfish people around, and usually pretending to be asleep when an elderly person stands in front of them. But I’ve also seen many times people volunteering to give up their seats, so that’s nice. This might be interesting:
http://meridian103.com/issue-7/made-in-singapore/kiasu/
Over-zealous sales clerks: true, especially electronics stores. I just tell them ‘I’m just browsing’. They usually get it and leave me alone after that.
Stationery and no-glitter cards LOL: look out for ‘Popular Bookstore’, with outlets in many malls. They sell a comprehensive range of stationery. For books, the last of the giants we have is Books Kinokuniya, at an Orchard Road mall called Ngee Ann City (also called Takashimaya). Borders closed down here, sadly.
I wonder if you have come across the following site? I imagine it will be very useful for you, at least I hope so:
http://www.expatsingapore.com/index.php
Best of luck,
Halim
Another expat huh, I had some similar experiences. Mainly due to preconceptions not just by my family but on my own part as well. And to be honest the more I learn the more I am happy to be proved wrong, because it pushes the boundaries of what I had previously known and accepted.
My time in Singapore is so far one of the best experiences I have had and I hope to continue living as an expat for as long as possible.
Here’s a post I had about one of my first reality checks when I came to Singapore. I would love to hear if you had a similar experience while you have been in Singapore.
http://tylerkellyonsingapore.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/exotic-america/
I loved this post Laura – I can relate to every sentence, expressed with such sensitivity. More soon by mail x